


Catching Up

by eshannon



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Adult Losers, I love IT and John Mulaney so this was fun, Stan is still alive, john mulaney - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-14 22:00:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13017012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eshannon/pseuds/eshannon
Summary: Based on a post from tumblr user tea-cherry. "The losers get back together in 2017 and are sharing stories about their lives but it’s just like, john mulaney skits"





	1. Ben Hanscom- 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to tumblr user tea-cherry for making a post about this. All credit for the idea goes to her. I was just inspired by the post.

     When all of the losers arrived in Derry, Maine after Mike told them of IT coming back, they went to a diner in town that they haven’t been to, excluding Mike, in decades. They told each other stories from their time apart that had them in stitches.

     Ben started by telling the losers about the time he was a temp. “I had the best time while being a temp. I met the weirdest people. One time I worked at an office on 57th Street in New York City. I was only there for a couple of weeks. I was in a cubicle next to this other cubicle. This woman named Mischa sat in the other cubicle. Mischa had about 900,000 photos of her daughter up in her cubicle. Almost like she was trying to solve a conspiracy about her daughter. I think about Mischa two times a week because of a phone call she had next to me one day.”

     "It was one of my first days, and I was sitting next to her. Her phone rang, and this was her call. She answered and said, ‘Hello? Hush!’ And then she just hung up. That was the call” All of the losers were so caught up in laughter, they totally forgot about the reason they were all there.

     “I think about that two times a week because what was the other side of that conversation. I have no clue what the other person could have said.”

     “I also temped for a small web company in New York. The boss’ name was Henry J. Finch IV. He was old money. I have no idea why he owned this web company. I think he won it in a rich man’s game of dice and small binoculars, or something.” Ben stopped while the other losers laughed. “Mr. Finch wore linen suits. He had suspenders, he had a bow tie, he had a hat, and he had a cane with an ivory handle. I’m giving you more description than you need, cause I need you to believe me. This was a real person I knew.”

     “Mr. Finch was in his 70s. He had an assistant named Mary. She was in her 50s, she was Korean. I don’t know why he had an assistant. He didn’t need one.”

     Stan stopped Ben to ask, “Why were you a temp?”

     Ben replied with, “Because it was the best job ever. I could just go from office to office and be terrible at a different job for a week. And then you just get to retire. You’re like, ‘Thank you. None of you will ever see me again.’”.

     Ben then continued with his story, “One day, Mr. Finch came into the office. It had been raining. Everything I’m about to say to you was said in front of me on that afternoon. Mr. Finch walked into the office, and he was wearing a raincoat, he was wearing a rain hat, and he had his cane. He walked in and he said, and I’m quoting, ‘Ah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!’ And then Mary yelled, ‘Ooh, ducklings!’” Ben attempted, and failed, to imitate Mary’s accent, which made that line even funnier.

     The losers interrupted Ben’s story with laughter. “Oh my god!” Beverly exclaimed. Everyone in the diner was staring at the group. The losers were laughing so hard they were crying. “It’s not over” Ben said chuckling, “Mr. Finch replied, ‘Too old to be a duckling. Quack, quack.’ And then walked into his office. I think about that every goddamn day.”

* * *

 

Again, thank you to tumblr user tea-cherry for [the post](https://tea-cherry.tumblr.com/post/168547718215/tea-cherry-the-losers-get-back-together-in-2017) that inspired this


	2. Richie Toizer - 2

     Once the losers contained themselves Richie continued with the catching about with his story about the time he spent Fourth of July with one of his friend’s family.

     “We were all hanging out in the living room. Just talking. My friend was bouncing his two-year-old daughter up-and-down on his knee. My friend pointed at me and said to his daughter, ‘Do you know who that is? That’s Uncle Richie’ and I was like, ‘Oh, my God. That’s so sweet. I’m her Uncle Richie.’ Then the baby pointed at me and said, ‘Uncle Richie has a penis.’” The group of friends burst into laughter again.

     “Thanks for laughing because no one did that day. It was dead silent. And I didn’t know what to say so I said, ‘Oh, come on!’. Which made it worse because it sounded like we had an agreement not to talk about it! Like the other day she came up to me and said 'you have a penis' and I was like 'yeah, but your a baby so we have to keep this a secret.'” The losers had trouble containing their laughter while giving their order to the waiter who had walked up as soon as Richie was done with his story.

     When the waiter walked away, Richie continued the conversation with telling his friends a story from college. “So me and my roommate from Freshman year were celebrating finishing our midterm papers at this restaurant called the Salt and Pepper Diner. It was perhaps the best meal I ever had. Inside the restaurant was a jukebox that was three plays for a dollar. So me and my roommate put seven dollars in. We queued 21 plays of “Whats New Pussycat” by Tom Jones and we waited.” The group began their giggles.

     “Here's the thing about when ‘What's new pussycat’ plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, you’re immediate thought is not ‘Hey! someones playing Whats's new pussycat again’. It’s ‘Hey, What's new pussy cat is a lot longer than I first thought’. The fifth time it plays is the best. We were watching the whole dinner and most people have gotten wind as to what's going on. And we're staring at this one guy. He’s sitting in his booth and his hand is shaking while his stupid kids jump around. And he's been onto us since the beginning. So he's staring at his coffee cup like this,” Richie makes an angry face while staring at the table, “and there's his look on his face like he just got his thirty day chip from anger management. So he’s staring at his cup and the fourth play fades out. It's dead quiet and then, I don’t know if you know this but the song begins very suddenly. It goes ‘BWUAAH BWUAOOH, What’s new pussycat?’ And the guy goes ‘Goddammit!!!!’ He pounds on the table and silverware flies everywhere.” Richie imitates the guy, which brings the diner’s attention back to the table, “It was fantastic!”

     The losers are cracking up, leaning on each other, close to tears. Richie calms down and says, “But wait! Theres more.”

     “My roommate is a genius because when we were at the jukebox, punching in ‘What’s New Pussycat’, I get about seven in and he turns to me and says, ‘Hey, hey, hey wait. Before we drop in another ‘What’s new pussycat’, let’s put in one ‘It's not unusual’.’ And that’s when the afternoon went from good to great!”

     “After 7 ‘What’s New Pussycat’s, ‘It’s Not Unusual’ came on and a sigh of relief swept through the diner. People were ecstatic, it was like the liberation of France! Grown adults were crying. It was beautiful. Then the song ended. It was dead silent, then you hear it ‘BWUAAH BWUAOOH, What’s new pussycat?’. Everyone went insane. They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays and that was the greatest meal of my life.” The group was trying to calm themselves down as their waiter walked to their table with their food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still need ideas for the other losers so please comment if you have any ideas.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. I love IT and John Mulaney so this was super fun to write. Richie will be next but I need ideas for the other losers so if you could comment some of John Mulaney's skits and which losers should tell them, that would be great.


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